4 more days

4 more days to mama's return !
Jusr received an sms from family members asking how everything's back home. Fine, everything is fine.
In fact, just had dinner with my cousin. Seriously, I'm very thankful for my cousins. We are very close, and now that my mom is not in S'pore, they call everyday to check on my auntie. My auntie is getting old and rather weak, can't walk that much nowadays. Thus, my mom was thinking of cancelling her trip initially. However, my cousins assurred her they'll check on her regularly. If not for them, life won't be the same. They also played an impt part in my growing up yrs. Hence, I was never alone nor looked down upon.
Home is truly the best place to be, and kinship is definitely something we should not forsake.

Give me hope Joan

It is with a heavy heart that I read Joan's blog and found out that she had passed away in her sleep.
I really do not know Joan personally....I'm just one of those people who read about her story in the Straits Times last Dec, and have been moved by her courage and determination. This year, I think there was a feature about her again, to update about her conditions, and after that, I've been reading her blog.
I do not know what to say...but in a way, she has gone home to the Lord, to a happy place where there's no more pain and suffering for her.....

i miss my mama

My mama and whole family went China yesterday, now only left me, hubby and auntie at home.
I miss my mama. So strange without her around.
Actually, my colleague is very envious of me. Every morning, my mama will wake up at 5.45am with me, just to prepare breakfast for hubby and me. Isn't that sweet of her ? Thus the 1st thing my colleague said to me was, "No breakfast for the next 1 week."
Ya....no familiar nagging from her, no nice-smelling food when i reach home too. It's take-away for this week. Yes, i can't cook, my auntie can't cook, my hubby can't cook....see ? We all depend on mama.
It's just one day, and i can't wait for her to be home. I think i'm too attached and dependant on her. But then again , which girl doesn't ??

I really hate myself sometimes.
Whenever i go shopping, be it shopping malls or neighbourhood stores, i just can't stop my itchy fingers from browsing through the clothes. And this action has always landed me in trouble...i'll often end up buying something, be it bags or clothes.
Why can't i just walk away without looking ? All will be safe if i simply walk away right ? but no, i have to walk in, look around, and "bang"!, I saw something i like ! Doesn't that sound too familiar ? I think i really should exercise some self-control...i mean, i think every girl loves shopping....but i do know of girls who can really save..and not buy any new stuff....why can't i be like one of those ?
And to make things worse, i have to go for my monthly dosage of facials, massages, pedicures etc...and all these requires money ! Arrghhhh...all my money is gone in all these areas...and yes, not to mention my skincare products. I really dunno why i can't use normal pharmacy brands...i have to use branded ones. I think it's all in the mind....i mean, cleansers are just cleansers right ? they are simply used to get rid of the dirt on one's face isn't it ? But no...i have to spend such unnecessary money...
Seriously, my husband is not too happy about my spending habits. He's the exact opposite...he saves and saves...and i feel soooo guilty next to him. Even my mom knows he saves while i spend. I am thinking of having a baby, but if this carries on, how am i going to cope with a baby ? Where to get the money ? Cannot just give birth and let the baby suffer right ?
So, in order to have a family, i really must get rid of this terrible habit.
Maybe i should be grounded at home.
*Help*

Counting Down

At the moment that I'm writing this, there is still 28 days 23 hrs more to World Cup 2006.
Yes...I've even personalized my FIFA World Cup homepage, with Holland and Italy as my top 2 teams that I'll like to receive news on.
I'll be leaving for Bangkok on 8th June, and my top concern is whether they'll be showing World Cup over there. My friend reassurred me that they will...and I heaved a sign of relief when I knew that I will make it in time to watch the 1st match on 9th June. Imagine, on the plane when they kick off...that'll be bad....wonder if can watch World Cup on the plane too ? Dun think they have ESPN right....
So coincidental...I was in Boston during World Cup 98, and I watched England vs Argentina match when i was transitting...and i remembered people shouting when Beckham got sent off for kicking one Argentina player. I was in Gentings during World Cup 2002, and I remembered calling my friend, I was crying to him when Korea kicked Italy out...now, 2006....I'll be in Bangkok, and what upsets will there be ?
Why is the whole world crazy over World Cup ? I always find that soccer bonds a country's people together. Just look at the fans ! It is so exciting juz to watch them screaming for their country. I was thinking of going Germany to watch World Cup this yr, but somehow, the wish didn't come true....I cannot imagine what I'll do if I really see Van Basten on the pitch.....i'll just faint from sheer estacy....I cannot imagine if Roberto Baggio is to suddenly appear in front of me. This will never happen, but what if....then I'll just go crazy....my heart will just pump like mad...perhaps I'm still living in the past. The soccer players I like also belong to the other era...I don't carry a torch for young players today...I know they are talented in their own ways, but I still find myself attached to the past. Oliver Khan will be retiring after this World Cup, so is Dennis Bergkamp...2 more talented players going off....
Soccer unites the world, that's the beauty of the game. World Cup gives us hope and anticipation.
"Wir Sind Fussball"-We are Football (Slogan from Germany)

Just realized that I have never really been sent home by a guy before.
It must have been really romantic to be sent home by a person you love. Imagine those lovely walks under the moonlight, those quiet moments as you stroll alongside each other. I always find such times sweet and romantic. If he's someone special, you'll treasure those times whereby you'll get to know each other more; if he's just a good buddy, it'll be a good time to catch up and gossip. Even if it's just a pure platonic friendship, i find guys who send girls very gentlemanly. However, as i recall back now, all my guy friends didn't send me home. Last time when I didn't own a car, they'll just say gd-bye either at the bus-stop or MRT station, and I'll be venturing on my way home, alone. Sadly, i was rather upset on those trips home. I guess it's good to have a friend to talk to on the way home. Hence, in the end, i'll use those quiet moments on the bus to reflect and think about stuff.
After I got a car, needless to say, I'll be the one who'll be fetching my guy friends and sending them home.
When I got attached, i was also the one who sent my then boyfren now hubby home. All the way to Bukit Panjang then back to my Silat Ave. We used to go out till rather late. There were a few occasions whereby I reached home at 2plus in the morning. I guess i have no one to blame, for it is me who has the car, not him.
Perhaps that kinda subconciously trained me to be the independent person i am today. I love driving, and all these incidents made me love driving more. My car is my 3rd love. There was only my car and I on those lonely late nights home.
How does it feel like to be sent home ? I guess I'll never know.

Disappointment

I got some disappointing news at Tangs yesterday. The Java Bar next to Techno Bay will no longer give FREE coffee/tea with Citibank cerdit cards. This will stop wef 7th May, today.
V disappointing as I never fail to show my Citibank card to redeem a free cup of coffee after a day's shopping at Tangs. It's so convenient, and such a previlege for Citibank members. But now, sadly, no more.
Oh well, guess all good things will come to an end somehow...esp, if it's free.

Orange

This season, my fav colour is ORANGE.
World Cup fever is on, already paid for World-Cup par-per view on SCV, now, jus waiting for June 9, the day that it kicks off !
Why is my fav colour orange ? All because of this man. Marco Van Basten. He was my hero since i was in Sec 1. He was so young, so talented. But sadly, his career was short-lived due to injuries. Holland didn't make it to World Cup in 2002, but never mind. This yr, they're back ! And what makes me so eager and excited is that Van Basten is now the coach of the Dutch national team!
It took me quite a while to finally get a recent picture of him on the net. Yes, he has indeed aged. Those lines at the corner of his eyes, those wrinkles....but, never the less, he is still my hero. Still as charming as ever.
Nothing changes. He is still Van Basten. And i can't wait to see the new Holland team under his coaching.
This World Cup. my heart will be with Holland. Yes, i still love Italy, but this time round, Holland comes first, then Italy, then England.
Which reminds me, i have another hero. Roberto Baggio-the famous ponytail. Van Basten was my 1st love, Baggio was 2nd. There is no 3rd. And never will there be.

Workaholic

You know you're a workaholic when:
1) You're on MC but you still wake up at the usual waking up time-5.45am, without the help of an alarm clock.
2) You sms your colleagues and tell them to do certain stuff for you.
3) You ask your colleague to take worksheets home for you to mark.
4) You email your colleague to ask her to get things done though you'll see her the next day.
5) You keep thinking of school though you're at home.
6) You keep thinking of the pile of things that will greet you tomorrow.
7) You check your email account though you're sick.
I have all of the above...either I'm s super workaholic, or I'm a paranoid freak.

Who are we as compared to her ?

I'm sure the name "Joan Chan" is not unfamiliar to many, esp if you've been reading the papers. I read her blog regularly and just realized that her frens have set up another blog for her, to keep everyone updated abt how she is getting on. Seems like she's no longer on medication for her cancer, just relying on pain-killers etc...
Still remember her saying in her interview, that she'll not leave without putting on a fight. I think her story has moved many to tears, and her courage has made some of us guilty and ashamed. We're always complaining abt life being unfair, why some people are luckier than us, why we can't get our hands on that bag that we've been eyeing on...but here is Joan, fighting on for dear life. So who are we to complain when we have health, something that she doesn't have ?
Shouldn't she be saying life is unfair to her ?
She'll like people to donate money for a trust fund which she'll be setting up in her name. More details can be found on her blog soon. She's such a fighter, such an angel.
Looking at her blog and photos, it really hurts to see how she'd cahnged. For those of you who'll like to read more, you can go to the following:
http://joanchanshufang.blogspot.com/
As for the rest, let's just pray for Joan.